Darkness of the Heart
by acidloser
Summary: Stiles Stilinski has always loved Lydia Martin, but after recent events, he has decided he should get over her. However his mission is pushed to the side when more pressing issues arise. (Set after season 3a) (Sorry I've been very busy and have major writers block but this project hasn't been abandoned)


(A/N: I started this after 3a finished but never got around to continuing it. Some of the things I had planned ended up happening in season 3b more or less, so I'm not trying to copy it's sadistic plot :) )

01.

My fingertips grazed over the last page of the book and I sighed as the cover closed. I had finished all of my unread books in my room and my stomach had been growling. I must've forgotten to eat again. I pushed myself off the desk chair and trotted down the stairs to the kitchen. The fridge was wiped clean of cola; Dad must've drunk the last one. 'Guess it's time to restock on stuff at the grocery store. At least it was a distraction right? Better than wailing over her like I did for the first week of winter break. I shrugged on a coat over my navy thermal and slipped into some converse. Grabbing my car keys out of the dish next to the coat rack, I opened the wooden front door. My breath came out as frosty smoke as I unlocked my Jeep. I hoisted myself into the seat and put the keys into the ignition, music beginning to play from the stereo system.

Lydia Martin. I said her name over and over again in my head as I drove. Since third grade, I had been infatuated with her. But lately I realized she would never reciprocate my feelings. Every time I thought she finally felt the same, she would get with another guy. And it wasn't just wishful thinking- no she even _kissed_ me but ended up going for the Abercrombie model-esque Aiden. Sure, she kissed me because I was having a panic attack, but there's other ways to help. I decided I needed to get over her. Starting this winter break, so I didn't see her every day; but without the distraction of homework, I didn't have much to keep her out my head in other ways. Scott didn't hang around with me much lately; he was trying to figure his new found 'alpha' abilities. I'm not sure how much you really _needed_ to figure out, so I suspected he was trying to get back with Allison.

I sang along to the song playing as I pulled into the local Lucky-Market parking lot. It was pretty much empty, which I preferred when I went out. Of course my car wasn't used for picking up chicks- no it was a carpool service for homicidal werewolves. This clunker was sure a babe magnet. I hopped out and walked through the automatic doors, picking up a handheld basket before continuing.

I was mostly just grabbing my usual junk food when I realized I should probably get stuff for dinner. I picked out some pasta makings and cookies-n-cream ice cream- My dad's favorite. My feet picked up pace towards the register and my eyes scanned for any magazine. I didn't really find one of my liking but older people like Reader's Digest magazine right? Whatever, it wouldn't be the end of the world if he didn't enjoy reading it. I plucked it from the rack and placed it on the conveyor with the rest of my items.

"That'll be $25.85" The employee said in a very annoyed tone. I wanted to tell her something along the lines of 'Maybe if you smiled a bit then you would get a few more customers' but it was 11:20 and I wasn't about to have an even angrier woman on my case.

"Right" I nodded and handed her three-tens.

"Thanks for shopping at Lucky-Mart" She sighed and handed my bag and change.

"Thanks, have a nice night" I waved, which earned me an over-exaggerated eye roll. I walked briskly out of the store and hopped back into my car and began the drive back.

Humming one of my favorite tunes, I placed my keys in the dish and trudged over to the kitchen to put away the perishables. I took off my sneakers and coat, almost tripping over the other shoes. My eyes felt hooded and I let out a yawn, but I was extremely hungry and there was no way I was gonna sleep if my stomach was empty. I pulled out the noodles and sauce and set them aside before putting a large pot on the stove and putting the heat on high.

"I need water don't I?" I sighed to myself after a minute or two and grabbed the pot and brought it to the sink, "Of course you would mess up _spaghetti_ Stiles." I watched the water fill up and placed it back onto the stove. I was normally a screw up, but now that I was trying to get over Lydia it seemed like everything I did became a failure. Everything seemed off balance, I was vulnerable. Not that vulnerability was a new experience, that was one of the perks of being the uncoordinated human friend of a bunch of supernatural highschool students, but I could put up a front. I couldn't really trick myself though.

It was midnight when I rinsed the white bowl of the remains of my dinner. It wasn't unusual for Dad to be this late nowadays. He's been going back and investigating old cases ever since I told him about the paranormal side of Beacon Hills. I eyed the whiskey in the cabinet but decided against it, seeing as I had to get back to school tomorrow. That was going to be a living hell. Even more than kanimas or those alpha pack freaks. Lydia would be smitten with Aiden and I… just looking.

'You should really start thinking more optimistically' I thought to myself as I walked upstairs. I squirted overly minty toothpaste on my tooth brush and brushed my teeth. 'You're worthless. Has any of your 'friends' been there for you lately?' Wow, didn't know my subconscious was such a dick. But the words stuck with me as I flopped onto my bed. How was it that I risked my lanky ass for everyone, yet here I was, alone, staring at the poster of Buffy the Vampire Slayer that was plastered on the ceiling. Who was I kidding? No one gave a shit about Stiles Stilinski. Except for maybe my dad, Scott, and mom. But Scott was really too 'busy' trying to get in some girls pants and my mom… she couldn't really be around. Feeling tears sting my eyes, I quickly shut them and buried my face in my pillows in an attempt to sleep.

"Stiles wake the hell up!" My dad's voice rang through the hallway.

"Wha?" I opened up my eyes and glanced at the clock. I let out a loud groan and ran down the steps, jumping the last few, causing me to trip and almost face plant into the wood flooring.

"Good job bud. Listen you just get yourself to school on time. I've gotta go to work" He waved and was out the door. I carried my cheerios up to my room and played some music as I pulled out some clothes. This was another stupid about school, the fact that all the students feel like they have to dress nice to impress each other. Like Isaac and his fucking scarfs. That dude wears them in the summer too. Meanwhile, I would much rather show up in my pajamas, but since I didn't have the handsome looks like Scott to rely on, and my dad says it would make it seem like he was a shit father, I couldn't. I pulled a white shirt over my head and covered my arms with a light blue flannel.

"TEEN LOVERSSSS" I sang along (which was more like shouting) as I pulled to the curb of Scott's house. I remembered that had his dirt bike now, and doesn't need a ride. 'Pretty soon he's not gonna need me anymore'. I shook the thought out of my head and bobbed my head along with the music .

Eventually I reached my blue locker, that seemed strangely ominous. Probably because Lydia's was right across from mine. Fuck, there I went thinking about her again. I was starting to think this plan of mine was going to be unsuccessful. I punched in my combo, 5-33-45, and started to empty my backpack of my lunch and other things that were irrelevant for English. I had been contemplating taking AP, but I knew Scott would be alone and I decided against it.

"Shit, shit , shit!" I heard a loud banging from the locker next to me.

"Need a hand?" I closed my locker to see a girl with long brown hair and a scowl on her face.

"No" she huffed, and her fingers angrily turned the lock on her locker. She evidently was unsuccessful, since she banged the metal again.

"Here," I gently shoved her aside, "What's your combo?" She mumbled the 3 digits, and I unlocked it with ease. "I'm Stiles."

"Haley. Thanks, my old school didn't have lockers." She explained while she stuffed her things in. What idiot would move to Beacon Hills? If you were going to move anywhere in California, you'd wanna go to L.A., not the town with the highest death and disappearance rate. Not to mention just about all of the cases were unsolved.

"So what class do you next?" I asked, my back against the wall of blue. She shoved her schedule in my face. "Well, guess who is going to be your escort?" I said noticing we shared a few classes, including English.

"Someone who's quiet, not nosy, and won't get on my nerves?" Haley raised a brow.

"No silly, it's me" I smiled, taunting her.

"Kill me now" She groaned. I looked around the hall for some familiar faces. I spotted Danny and Ethan, but I wasn't really friends with either of them. But if Ethan was here, that meant Aiden wouldn't be far behind with someone I really didn't want to see right now.

"Stiles! How was your break?" Lydia asked enthusiastically. This tone surprised me, but I guess it was even more surprising she was talking to me at all. Her perfect red hair was rested on a cream cardigan that covered a denim dress. God, was everything about her gorgeous?

"It was, uh okay" You know despite the loneliness, and the small amount of progress I made withering away right this second.

"Hey baby are you gonna drop off your stuff or?" Aiden kissed her cheeks that were covered with rose blush. Fuck him. Kissing her and he probably didn't appreciate her one bit. Just wanted to have sex with her, not taking note of all the little things that made her happy. Hell, he probably doesn't have a clue about how smart she is.

"Yeah, see you later?" She smiled.

"'Course" I gulped and heard a snicker next to me. I glared a Haley and motioned for her to follow me to class. I told her about the High School and other things but she didn't seem to be paying attention.

"So what's her name?" She inquired.

"Who? The head of the chess club in? It's Noreen-"

"No, I mean that girl you were practically drowning in your drool" Haley deadpanned.

"Lydia"

"Well I hope you get to french her in the custodian's closet or whatever." She shrugged, seeming uninterested.

"No, it's not like that. I care about her… a lot" I said defensively.

"Oh. That's nice." Haley muttered something afterwards, but I didn't press her.

"Hey, do you wanna hang out with me and my friends?" I offered as we approached the classroom.

"I'm okay, you know, don't want to threaten Noreen" I was about to explain to her that I wasn't that lame, but I started to get dizzy. 'Lost another one before you even had her. God, you're so worthless it's almost comical. You're mom's dead, and dad's been drinking again. Not to mention that 'friend' of yours is the lacrosse star and leaving you alone on the bench. And other than that, there really isn't anyone you can turn to.' I saw imaged of black, and I clutched onto one of the lockers, my breathing getting heavy.

"Hey, are you alright? Stiles?" Hayley put her hand on my shoulder, her face showing true emotion for the first time this morning. A mixture of concern and fear.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just tired." I opened the classroom door. She didn't seem to believe me but walked in anyways. What the hell just happened to me?


End file.
